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The Healthy Aging Conversation

How do you know if it’s time to have the conversation with your loved ones?

(Posted with permission of Caring Transitions of Northeast Atlanta)

As COVID restrictions begin to lift, more families have the chance to travel to see parents or aging loved ones. If you are visiting with family and notice changes in mom or dad’s health after time apart or only virtual visits, it may be time to have conversations about a healthy aging plan.

Often times family members hesitate to talk with their aging parents about common topics of concern such as changes to health, transportation, home care, legal and financial issues as well as retirement housing. These are important topics that can’t be ignored but may be uncomfortable to discuss. Despite any differences in age or understanding, on the most basic level, we all want to feel loved.

What changes may indicate additional support is needed?

  • Difficulty keeping up with finances. Observe stacks of unpaid bills or late notices.
  • Changes in personal hygiene or housekeeping that indicate parents are having trouble with personal grooming or housework.
  • Your parent repeats themselves often in the same conversation, seems confused, highly emotional or exhibits unusual paranoia. This could be caused by medications or other more serious cognitive issues.
  • Excessive shopping through TV or online outlets, or an unusual interest in online sweepstakes that require their personal information, phone numbers, addresses, social security or banking information.
  • Your parent is extremely isolated due to loss of a spouse or loss of personal mobility.
  • Numerous safety concerns in the home, such as heat, air conditioning, leaks, crumbling plaster, trip and fall hazards, steep stairways, loose carpeting and outdated electrical.
  • Health concerns: disorganized medications, spoiled food in the home, lack of healthy food items, infestations or mold.

Don’t feel discouraged if you notice any of these changes. It is much better to have these important conversations sooner rather than later. It is often too late to make informed decisions or be sensitive to everyone’s point of view once a personal or medical crisis occurs. Decisions that could have been made in advance end up being made in a rush; resulting in regret, remorse and unnecessary expense.

How can I communicate openly in a caring and loving way?

  • Be Attentive – Take the time to create a calm and quiet environment for conversation, especially important conversations. Making sure there is a reduction in distractions will help keep the conversation focused. Remember to pay close attention to what’s being said to ease tension, give comfort, and maintain trust.
  • Be Understanding – There are often feelings of confusion and loss that come along with discussing changes in care or moving to a new place. Being empathetic is the first step to truly being open to what is being communicated.
  • Be Aware of Body Language – Body Language communicates beyond words and surpasses the barrier of understanding. It is important to maintain eye contact, a relaxed posture, as well as smile genuinely and often. Emotions can often be “felt” through body language and nonverbal cues.
  • Be Patient – Remember to take the conversation one moment at a time. This can be done by keeping the discussion simple and willingly repeating information. Allow for time to process the conversation without rushing the moment. This can help reduce anxiety and uncertainty.
  • Be Calm – Your conversation may be difficult or unwelcome and this could be a source of frustration for both you and your loved ones. Maintain a calming tone and body language to keep the conversation healthy. Be sure to listen and acknowledge emotions, like fear, anger, and anguish in a loving way.

Focus on the benefits of a creating a healthy aging plan.

Difficult or complex conversations are not always easy. Oftentimes people feel it’s easy to avoid difficult communications regarding health concerns because they may not want to face the fact their parents or loved ones are getting older. They may also feel that asking too many “prying” questions could jeopardize good relationships. On the other hand, they may also wish to avoid the additional responsibilities that are sure to surface as care issues are discovered.

Prioritize taking this time to enjoy each other’s company and have caring conversations. Taking the time to visit more often isn’t always possible during these difficult and uncertain times, so make the most of the moments you have in person. Your family will benefit from increased clarity and decreased conflict as they gain a sense of comfort knowing they are respecting their parents’ decisions and values. Frequent communication promotes honest conversation and can help you adjust to the many changes that take place as parents grow older.

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Tough Transitions

(Published with permission from Caring Transitions of Northeast Atlanta)

Tough TransitionsThe holiday season is over and many people area are now left with a sobering realization that loved ones they hadn’t seen in more than a year need help. The warning signs that can be masked by distance like hygiene, trouble standing, and stacks of unpaid bills became obvious as families reunited with aging parents over the last few weeks.

Now adult children are left with difficult questions about what to do next. Should we move mom to a senior community? Does dad need a caregiver? Is it time to downsize to a smaller home?

#1 Is it time? The first step is to figure out if this is the right time to begin the transition to a smaller and more manageable home or assisted living. Here are a few questions you can ask:

  • Did you notice a change in hygiene? Did she appear to have clean hair? Did he suddenly start growing an unkempt beard? Was there a noticeable and uncharacteristic body odor?
  • Were there expired items in the refrigerator? This could mean your loved one isn’t eating enough and isn’t paying attention to basic health and safety.
  • Are there stacks of unpaid bills? Stacks of unpaid bills can cause financial problems for an aging parent and are a major sign he or she can no longer keep up.
  • Did your loved one struggle to get around the home? If you noticed trouble getting in or out of chairs, a slow shuffling pace or frequent stumbling, it’s time to consider a home that is more suited to a senior’s needs.
  • Did you witness a lack of interest in hobbies? Maybe your mother is an avid piano player and you noticed the piano covered in dust. Perhaps your father loves to read, but you didn’t see a book by his bedside. These are signs your loved one’s zest for life is slipping.

#2 Consider your options. The second step is to research different strategies with other family members to find a good fit.

  • It’s time to downsize. Your parent may not need help with daily living, but you have noticed they struggle to keep their large home clean and the grass mowed. This is a great opportunity to discuss moving to a smaller house or even a condo.
  • It’s time for in-home help. Your loved one could benefit from an in-home caregiver who can assist with light housework, bathing and daily living
  • A fulltime care facility is the best option. Your loved one is struggling with all aspects of life from home upkeep to bathing. It’s time to move him to a fulltime care facility.

#3 Plan a move. Moving is listed as one of the most stressful events in a person’s life and it becomes even more stressful if that person has lived in the home for decades.

  • Sort first. Pack later. The hardest part of the move is taking that first step. Help your loved one sort through what to keep, donate and throw away. Each can be labeled with a simple color-coded post-It note.
  • Set a manageable schedule. Don’t expect your aging parent to work on this move late into the evening hours. Try to keep as close to their normal routine as possible.
  • Limit the emotion. Save photo albums for late in the process. Trips down memory lane can cause increased angst and regret about the pending move.
  • Hire someone to help. Downsizing companies like Caring Transitions are specially trained to assist with these kinds of moves. Experts can help ease the stress, streamline the process and speed up the move.

If you’re looking for helping with a cleanout, downsizing, packing/unpacking or liquidating an estate, you can contact Caring Transitions’ Mike DeLeon at mdeleon@caringtransitions.com.

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Will You Downsize or Rightsize?

Is it time to move to a larger or smaller space? Whether choosing to move now or later, you should start asking the right questions today.

Here’s how to tell if you should move to a larger space:

  • You need to make room for aging parents or relatives who cannot afford to age in place or an elder care facility
  • You must make room for returning children
  • Your home is overflowing with furniture and miscellaneous items that have no place to go
  • You are running out of storage space

How to tell if you should move to a smaller space:

  • You or your partner has health complications that are not suited for the current layout of your residence
  • The thought of caring for your yard, multiple bedrooms, or general upkeep seems stressful
  • Moving could save you money in retirement
  • Your home has lots of space that is never used

A few other factors to consider before deciding to rightsize:

  • You’ve decided to move closer to children or grandchildren to make new memories with family
  • As your wants and wishes change, your neighborhood may no longer provide what you need
  • Your home no longer appeals to you and you are not in the position to nor desire to remodel
  • Selling your home could yield exponential financial benefits

Rightsizing can be new, exciting, and in some cases frightening. Considering the tips on this list can give you a great head start. Your next best option is to contact a Seniors Real Estate Specialist who will help you work out a plan of action and time frame best suited to your needs.

For Full Article of questions and video to help you when it comes to relocating Click Here
Source: Lisa Haskell, Owner of Caring Transitions of Central Gwinnett  Click here to contact them.

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How Seniors (and Their Families) Benefit from a Senior Real Estate Specialist (SRES®)

Couple laughing

This specially-designated REALTOR can save the children of seniors a lot of time when their parents need to downsize

Not just limited to Conyers but all around Atlanta, many older adults who own homes eventually get to a point where their home no longer accommodates them as it was originally intended. They may no longer need the size of the home, be physically able to take care of the home or can afford the cost of maintaining the home. In too many cases, health challenges compress the time needed to plan for a housing transition, find a new home or other living arrangements and/or sell their current home.

The Challenge

The adult children will find there’s a plethora of resources, housing options and price points to consider, so finding a residence that is the perfect mix of warmth and proximity to health care providers and facilities while being functionally adequate for the challenges of aging means much time and effort is involved in considering all the options. Senior-specific financial and real estate considerations often must be handled by the children of seniors, while juggling their own careers and family life.

The Solution

If your aging parent or other loved-one needs to downsize or find a residence better suited for them, a SRES®-designated REALTOR is best trained to handle your loved-one’s real estate needs. They can sift through the options and present them to your parents, saving you a lot of legwork and time.

Hilary Walker, a SRES®-designated REALTOR®, Broker and Director of American Realty Seniors Division, says it best:

“The challenge is that ‘many adult children of baby boomers’ rarely have the time that is needed to gather all the necessary information about the services that would be helpful to their parent. This means the parent often remains in their ‘ineffective’ situation for longer.  But also, connected to this, is that often the adult child is trying to show the parent that it may be best if they no longer live in the family home that has functional issues relating to the parents’ current health conditions or lifestyle needs. The other challenge is for the adult child to find and provide solid information to parents without making the parents feel as though their child is ‘babying’ them or trying to take over. Seniors Real Estate Specialists like me can help with all of this.”

To be experienced in serving this demographic, the REALTOR® must pass the National Association of REALTORS-designed course. Earning the SRES® designation means the REALTOR® specializes in the needs of clients aged 50 and over who are buying and selling real estate.

SRES®-designated REALTORS® are knowledgeable about these things and will save you time by finding reputable services or handling them for you:

  • Senior housing options and locations
  • Move Management Coordinators
  • Counseling strategies to help in life transition planning
  • Remodel/Renovation contractors in case they wish to age in place
  • Factors and trends in housing, retirement income and finance specific to those 50 and over
  • Identifying and protecting seniors from finance, mortgage and loan scams that target this demographic
  • Aware of Housing for Older Persons Act (HOPA), senior communities and housing restrictions
  • Advisers for Home Equity Conversion Mortgages, Reverse mortgages, 401k accounts, IRAs and pensions as part of wealth management and to assist in real estate transactions
  • Protecting a parent or senior loved-one from losing access to Medicaid, Medicare, VA or Social Security benefits when selling their real estate

Atlanta Seniors Real Estate Team provides holistic real estate services for the unique needs of older adults and their families. Contact a Seniors Real Estate Specialist today!

SRES® REALTORS® also have partners in the Senior Care Market who help make the transition to a new home as easy as possible for all concerned. Kaye Ginsberg, founder of , a full service seniors relocation partner, explains:

“Senior Move Managers take the stress out of moving. We work together with the senior and their family to decide which belongings will go to the new home, then work with them to manage what to do with the rest (sell, donate or dispose). We coordinate packing and moving and then completely unpack the new home; including hanging pictures and making the beds.”

Ginsberg said, “The first step is for the senior to identify what they will take with them and what they would like family members to have – and that’s the hard part. This is the first time in history that we have two generations downsizing at once – and none of the “children” want any of their parents’ belongings. Which means that many items like china, crystal and silver are not holding up in value for re-sale. Perhaps it would be better to focus on what I like to call ‘Doing Good While Downsizing’.  Why not donate items to a local charity who will make sure your items go to people in need who will appreciate them?”

Ginsberg says it’s good to strategize early: “It’s never too early to start thinking about the future.  Even if you’re not ready to move now, it is wise to know what your home is worth and what other housing options are available for you.  And it is certainly never too early to start thinking about what you want to do with your lifetime accumulation of possessions.”

Download “Your Guide to Stress-Free Rightsizing and Relocation” 

Sources:

National Association of REALTORS. SRES

National Association of Senior Move Managers. 

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3 Questions for Seniors Looking to Buy a New Home

Homes in the Autumn
 Photo Credit: Pixabay.com

 

 

When we think about purchasing a new home, we often think about young families looking to expand or people looking to move to a different part of their city (or even across the country). Once a person hits retirement age, we don’t think about them purchasing a new home.

Seniors have plenty of reasons to purchase a new home. There’s no rule that says you’re locked into the house you’re living in once you hit a certain age. If you’re a senior in the market for a new home, there are three basic questions you need to answer before you get started.

Why am I purchasing a new home?

The reason why you’re purchasing a new home should drive the type and location of the house you choose. Many seniors choose to move in their later years to downsize. Maybe you’re living in the house you’ve lived in for decades and it’s simply too much room for you now that the kids are gone. If so, you need to look for a low-maintenance home. Maybe you’re moving because of mobility reasons. If so, you need to make sure that the new home you buy is set up for prime accessibility. Maybe location is what matters most, as you’re moving to be closer to family. Figure out your prime motivation for moving and tailor your home search around it.

How am I going to finance it?

For some seniors, this usually is not a tricky subject. If you’re financially stable, you may choose to finance your new home in the same way you financed your last home – with a standard mortgage.

But for some seniors on fixed incomes, the question of paying for their new home is a little more complicated. It is worrisome to think about paying a large monthly mortgage payment on a fixed income, and worse yet, dipping too heavily into retirement savings.

One popular way to finance a new home if you’re over 62 is with a Home Equity Conversion Mortgage (HECM), a type of reverse mortgage. Here’s how the American Advisors Group describes it:

“With the HECM for Purchase reverse mortgage, the borrower provides a down payment using the sale of the previous home or other savings.  The equity earned through the down payment and the new home’s value is used to calculate the reverse mortgage loan amount.  During this process, borrowers may need to meet the loan-to-value ratio requirements with a significant down payment and provide verification of personal income and funds.  All or part of the reverse mortgage funds then cover the remaining cost of the home, just like with a traditional mortgage.

The benefit to financing with a reverse mortgage is that instead of paying the loan back every month over time like a traditional mortgage, reverse mortgage repayment is deferred to when the loan matures.”

This means no monthly mortgage payment – payment is due when the house is sold or the inhabitant dies. Keep in mind that you’re not building up equity in that second home, and there could be very little left in equity once the reverse mortgage is paid off.

When you’re thinking about financing, you should also consider what repairs or improvements will be needed in the home for it to be a safe and comfortable place for you to live as you get older. For example, what will the cost be if the bathroom needs a remodeling for it to be more accessible for you or your spouse? Or are there outdated appliances in the home that will need to be replaced soon? It’s important that you’re clear on all the home’s needs before making a buying decision as repair costs can add up quickly.

Remember, you do not have to make these tough financial decisions on your own. It’s best that you talk to a financial advisor to come up with a budget for your new home and to figure out the best way for you to finance your new home.

How am I going to handle the move?

Moving is tough on anyone – regardless of age – but it can be especially taxing on seniors. You need to plan. Don’t be afraid to de-clutter. Hold yard sales and distribute meaningful items to friends and family. Slowly pack boxes as to avoid injury and strain. For most seniors, it may be best to hire professional movers if you don’t have family members that can help you move.

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Guest writer: Jim Vogel, at

 

If your senior parent or other loved-one needs to downsize or find a residence better suited for them, a SRES®-designated REALTOR is best trained to handle your loved-one’s real estate needs ready to assist you or your parents to make this a smooth process.